Smile
by ale-la-pazza1
Summary: What happened in 4x07 in my mind,with ending #2


She needs to remember. She HAS to,so she runs in street,hoping to be hit by a car and remember. She isn't scared,she's driven. Her only need is to remember,she has no idea of who she is anymore. She thought she was Elizabeth but that guy,James or whatever his name is, called her Effy and told her shits about the world knowing them but she still couldn't remember. The cars don't hit her,they all try to avoid her but one is coming right into her. She's ready for the crash,but something,someone pushes her off the road. The adrenaline is enough for her to remember: she's Effy Stonem. She kisses Cook, she needs to thank you him and she tells him she remembers him,he's her friend,but that's not what matters now. She remembers EVERYTHING. Every bloody details. And she needs to tell something to Freddie,now,so she asks Cook to take her to Freddie and then she passes out. When she wakes up the first thing she sees is Freddie at her side,then she notices where they're,she's back at the clinic,back where it started. She tries to apologize to Freddie,but he makes clear she doesn't need to. She's so tired but she absolutely have to tell him. She's so bloody tired,she can barely keeps her eyes opened and she manages to say I love you a couple of times before she falls asleep. Her dreams are not pleasent,she keeps seeing a room with a man full of hate and death,just like she had before,she wakes up screaming and crying. Something is wrong,something is terribly wrong. The first thing she notices is that Freddie is not by her side,so she picks up her phone and tries to call him,no answer. She tries again a couple times and he still won't pick up his damn phone. She keeps thinking that this is not good,she makes another phonecall,Cook answers right away and he assures her he'll stop byFred's and he'll find him. Effy is worried nontheless,her bad dream is hauting her. She keeps thinking that this is all wrong,she can't stay in here. She rushes out the bed and she gets dressed,she quickly escapes from the clinic and goes to Freddie's place,but he's not there,only Cook. She tells to Cook they've to find him but Cook has no idea where to look for. Then something hits Effy: John Foster's look when Freddie told him to fuck off. But he wouldn't hurt Freddie,would he? She has no time to wonder,she briefly explains this to Cook and they go to the councellor's place right away. The first thing she see makes her heart literally stop: blood,a lot of blood on the window next to the door. She tries to keep it together but all she really wants to do is screaming. Cook doesn't waste anytime and smashes the door,what is waiting for them on the other side is something Effy will never forget. Freddie lies on the ground in a pool of blood,his head is severly smashed. Effy can't keep it together anymore,she starts screaming and crying holding Freddie and begging him to stay with her. Cook can't bear the sight of his best mate,he is starting to losing it too,but he needs to keep it together because they're not safe here,John Foster have to be around somewhere,so he goes off to find him. Effy cant's stop crying. She takes her phone and calls for an ambulance. She tells them to hurry. She never believed in God - not even when Tony had been in the accident, but right now she had to believe that Freddie would be alright more than anything else. The ambulance came quick enough with the paramedics examining Freddie and loading him into the ambulance. Effy climbs in it too. She can't leave him alone. She quickly texts Cook to update him about the situation and to tell him to come to hospital. She keeps praying, she can't lose him. She can't even deal with the bare thought of losing him. She keeps her eyes shut, she doesn't wanna see Freddie like that. With her eyes closed she sees her Freddie: skating, cycling ,making love to her, telling her she fucking loves her, kissing her. That's her Freddie and she needs to see that Freddie alright soon. As soon as they get to the hospital he's taken into surgery and she is all alone. She can't help but think that loneliness is a feeling that will haunt her forever if Freddie won't make it. She'll be lonely even if she won't be physically alone, because not even Freddie's baby will make it ok. Just thinking that reminds her of all the chances she has lost to tell him about the pregnancy, so she now prays for another chance. Her thoughts are interrupted by the sudden arrival of Cook and he's not alone. He brought Karen, Freddie's dad and her mum. She's still tearing up when her mother hugs her so firmly that her breath is almost taken away. Next thing she knows, Karen is crying on her shoulder asking why her brother. Effy wishes she didn't know the answer. It's all her freaking fault. Her illness and need of therapy had almost killed Freddie. After many hours of waiting the doctors come to meet them and told them that Freddie was found just in time and that they had to operate him 3 times, that his recovery will be long and very painful but in the end he will be ok. Effy's still crying. She cannot believe God listened to her prayers - her of all people. She asks when he can see him and the doctors tell her that visits won't be allowed for a couple of days at very least. She smiles for the first time in what seems a lifetime and gently brushes her stomach, careful not to be seen by anyone, and closes her eyes. All she sees is Freddie smiling at her, her Freddie and she is happy that she will see that smile for a very long time.


End file.
